The Following is Based on a True Story

With North Korea Day right around the corner, I want to encourage each of you to consider just how you might be able to misuse your money, just once this year!

Here are some ideas:

-Buy a $100 car and drive it off a cliff (not with you in it - rig it and then film it)
-Buy a $100 round trip plane ticket to anywhere, so long as you don't leave the airport (also works for the bus or train)
-Throw 100 $1 bills from the top of a tall building
-Find the most ridiculous charity you can and donate $100
-Do a reverse dine and dash (order your food, then leave $100 on the table and run out before it shows up)
-Buy some really expensive caviar and cheese and feed it to a toddler to see if they like it
-Two words: Sock Puppets for the Homeless
-Buy classified space in the local paper and fill it with bad poetry
-Take a limo ride to somewhere where a limo is out of place (like the zoo or the DMV)

Remember, North Korea Day is November 28, 2009. Make it a special time.

By the way, if anyone is in the San Francisco area this weekend and would like to get together, let me know.

Or if you have any suggestions for things that I haven't already done (I've done most of the regular tourist things in the past), please let me know.

Here's an email that I sent to Tony the other day:

You know how we always end up at the Metreon for no apparent reason
whenever I'm in town? I figured this would be the first time that
that wouldn't happen. Then I went to dinner with some people from
work last night and realized that we were in the Jillian's in the
Metreon. I'm staying at the St. Regis, which is like 1 block away.

I meant to post this yesterday. Here's the view out my back door this morning:

I thought you might find this picture interesting:



That's the view from my back door this morning. Makes me wonder if my sister-in-law Amy is lurking about somewhere...

I think we all know that Daylight Savings Time is this weekend, but I'm wondering how many people will be really early for things when it happens. I think technology has made it really easy to discover that the change happened when you weren't paying attention, so I think it'll be fewer people than it would have been ten years ago.

The main cultural difference that I've seen in New Orleans is that people here significantly underestimate how long things will take. Here are 3 examples from 2 days:

1. I ordered some room service and they said it would take 35 minutes. Over an hour later it showed up.

2. I asked at the front desk if they could recommend a lunch place for us since we needed to be back in 30 minutes. They said to use the hotel restaurant. I asked the hostess if we could order, eat, and be gone in 20 minutes and she said yes. 30 minutes later we got our food in a bag and ran.

3. I asked how long it would take to walk to Cafe Du Monde to get a beignet. They told me 10-15 minute walk. I walked fast and made it in 20 minutes.

And yes, all of my stories have to do with food.

I have decided to sponsor certain costumes this Halloween. The idea is that if some kid shows up at my door with a specific costume, they get double candy.

This idea came about when I learned that the HR department at work is going to set up as the cast of Nacho Libre (don't ask me how a female-dominated group is going to do that, but whatever). So, in their honor, any kid dressed up as Nacho Libre will get double candy at my door this year.

What other costumes should I sponsor?

I'm going to be in New Orleans for a few days next week. Any suggestions?

It has been brought to my attention that accidents happen and it is a good idea for everyone to have various documents, financial information, passwords, etc. available to family and other trusted individuals in the case of an emergency. So now I'm trying to figure out how to store this information. Here are the seemingly contradictory requirements:

1. Easily accessible to me or said trusted individuals
2. Not easily accessible to thieves or various random people
3. Easily updatable (e.g. when a password is updated)
4. Not likely to be destroyed in the event of a fire, flood, etc.

I know what my dad does, so I assume he would advise the same for me, but I wanted to see if there were other options that people would suggest.

What should I give out to trick-or-treaters on Halloween?

At one point, Diana expressed a willingness to let me buy a new computer. I immediately went out and bought one, thinking that I'd better act fast before she changes her mind (or thinks it through completely?).

I don't know if she had the same motivation, but we now own a 2009 Hyundai Elantra. Oh, my poor retirement savings! How I miss you!

But seriously, the timing was very interesting because she got the new car right before the first time it is supposed to snow this year. Hopefully she will be safer on her long commute. And she has 3 months of free XM radio, so she can listen to snippets of comedy shows on said commute.

I learned something new today. Check this out.

In other news, there is a 13 year old girl in my neighborhood that is earning money by doing various tasks. She advertises anything from doing laundry and sweeping the garage to mowing the lawn and shoveling snow. I invited her over to give me a price on mowing my lawn. Five bucks. Shoveling snow off my driveway and double-long sidewalk (I live on a corner)? Ten bucks. A great deal for me, but I think I'll be giving her large tips if she ends up keeping her prices so low.

In other other news, I'm happy to announce that I finally live in a place where I can give out candy on Halloween. I talked to my neighbor and learned that last year they had about 60 kids come by. Now I just need to figure out the right time to be home. It might be as early as 5pm, since everyone goes out when it's still light now (stupid paranoia!). If anyone wants to come hang out, you're welcome to stop over. Halloween is on a weekend this year after all.

Finally, it looks like Diana will be getting a new car very soon. She's considering a couple different cars, including the Mazda 3 (or 6) and another Hyundai Elantra. We'll see how it all turns out.

Hard to follow up the last post...

I wanted to say a big thanks to everyone that sent an encouraging message. My family and I have seen a lot of support and that's been a big deal for us.

For me, one of the silver linings is learning a little bit about how I can be there for other people in the future. In general, I think everyone is just at a loss in these situations. Here are a couple specific notes that I heard my mother say and might be of general interest:

1. It really meant a lot when people would stop by, even if they didn't say a word, but just gave a hug.

2. If someone says "just tell me if I can help in any way", it's nice but you're unlikely to take them up on it (because nothing will occur to you). However, if they suggest some specific way that they could help, you probably will take them up on it (buying groceries, watching the kids, picking a relative up from the airport, etc.).

I don't know if these are applicable to everyone, but there you go.

link

I'm not sure whether to go with witty insights or gut-wrenching emotion or plain ol' cryptic.

I guess I'll just note that this hotel room has two interesting features:

1. You have to turn on one of three light switches that are right next to the door in order for the bathroom light switch to work.

2. The door to the shower is translucent, which means that the first person that gets up and decides to take a shower wakes everyone else up by turning the light on.

My house is set up so that the living room is half below ground level and half above. This means that the windows are at ground level, but that there is a couch below the windows.

The other day, we were watching Arrested Development on DVD when we heard something outside. We found that a raccoon was just outside the window, watching along. So if you're wondering what to play for your wildlife...

We finally finished watching Battlestar Galactica (the Sci Fi channel one) and I have to say that it has the most Lord of the Rings ending of anything I've ever come across besides Lord of the Rings. I think they literally spend an hour telling you what all the characters are up to after it ends. I think after they changed to another scene about halfway through, I said "Oh look, Aragorn's wedding". Consider yourself warned.

Xanga has won back my heart. I just learned that they now allow comments by people who are not logged in. I feel slightly less bad about telling the Xanga people at a career fair about how the lack of anonymous comments made me hate their product.

Since they recently unblocked Facebook at work, I've spent a bit more time there (not a lot more, but a bit more). I've found that good selection of people from high school that all turned out differently than you would have expected. This led to a long car ride's conversation centered around the question "Are you basically the same person that you were in high school or are you a lot different?". I was the only one that considered myself to be basically the same (though I'll admit to being fatter and hairier...).

If you can bring yourself to spare 30 minutes, I highly suggest that everyone watch this. Better than what you were going to watch on TV: "Lennart Green does close-up card magic"

Getting anything done with Qwest:
-unpleasant experience
-takes a long time
-quick to pass the buck

Getting anything done with the city's water department:
-one quick phone call
-never put on hold
-only had to talk to one person

We finally met some neighbors yesterday on the way back from the mailbox. First, let me describe the physical setup:

Side A:

House 1 (corner), House 2, House 3, House 4, House 5 (corner), mailboxes around the corner

Side B:

House 6 (corner), House 7, House 8, House 9, House 10

1: This is our house that we just moved into
2: Rental house, renters in the process of moving out
3: Neighbors we met, 2 kids, own a boat
4: Recently repossessed by the bank and should be for sale soon
5: Elderly couple
6: For Sale/Under Contract
7: For Sale, owners currently moving out
8: Rental house, currently vacant
9: Unknown
10: Unknown

I don't really know anything about what's up with the houses behind us or across the other street from us. We'll have to look into that over time.

One of the nice things is that there is no Home Owner's Association for our neighborhood (Note: forgot to ask what the name of the neighborhood is). Apparently, the city is pretty strict about things like keeping the sidewalks clear and not having unmoving vehicles parked in the street and stuff like that, so it isn't really needed. I'm a big fan.

When we met the kid in house #3, we found out that he's in elementary school. I told him to let me know when he wants to earn some money by shoveling snow. We'll see how that works out in the future.


On a different note, I've also been enjoying watching TED talks. Maybe I'll post about some of them at some point. Maybe.

I find it amusing when people talk differently online than they do in real life. It seems kind of fake, but which one is actually the fake one? Or do they just adapt themselves to me when I'm around in person?

This morning I saw two women, jogging in opposite directions, pass each other on the sidewalk. The interesting part was that they were both pushing twin strollers.

Inspired by Pneumonia:

What animal combinations can you think of that really emphasize a certain trait? (I think this is Will Ferrell-style humor, so see if this fits in with your appreciation of his humor)
Whale-Cow: "Fatter than a whale-cow"
Pig-Dog: "Uglier than a pig dog"
Stud-Cat: "Hotter than a stud-cat"

The first one is from the above link, but the other two followed a late-night Denny's trip with Glowworm. (Note that late-night for me now means 10pm.) Got any to add?



In other news, If you're thinking about the marshmallow and how delicious it is, then you're going to eat it. The key is to avoid thinking about it in the first place.



Now to get ready to move all the furniture into the house...

I've been to Lowe's more times in the past two days than I have for the entirety of my life up to this point.

On Friday, we close on a house. Exciting times. In the meantime, I'm trying to come up with a list of questions that I might ask the sellers. I have a list already, but I thought you might have a question or two that you would suggest that we find the answer to sooner rather than later. Here are a few of mine to get you thinking:

-How good is the garbage disposal?
-What internet service did you use and how well did it work?
-Have you had to spray for bugs?
-Are there any neighborhood events to be aware of?
-Which windows do we need to shut when it rains?
-What remodeling did you consider doing to the house? Why did you choose not to do it?
(they did a fair amount of remodeling while they were there, so this is relevant)

Any other suggestions?

Following the inspiration of a certain gentleman, I have updated my profile to show the different states that I have visited.

I couldn't remember if I'd been to Vermont or Louisiana, so I just left them unchecked. Better safe than sorry. My next quest will be to fill in some detail or another for each so that I can remember later in life that I didn't just make up having been to certain places. I may also have to revisit Utah, because I hear that the 4 Corners was not actually located in the right spot.

If you look at my list and you're a geography whiz, you'll notice that I've pretty much missed the eastern half of the US. This may call for an intense road trip some day to fill in the gaps. We'll just have to see.

The most interesting to me is seeing the rules that people make up for these lists. For example, does it count as going to Pennsylvania if you only transferred through the Philadelphia airport on the way somewhere else? What if you ate a cheesesteak while you were there? Does it count if you drove from Baltimore to Princeton and drove on an interstate in Delaware, but never got off the road or bought anything without paying sales tax? If you've been to DC, but can't remember where all you went while you were there, can you count both Maryland AND Virginia? If you walk around in a circle at the Four Corners, can you count all four states? If you gamble on a riverboat casino in St Louis, can you count Illinois? If the only thing you do in Wisconsin is visit a Ren Faire right on the border, can you still count it? If you walk across the bridge at Niagara Falls, can you count it as visiting Canada?

So now I've got 13 left. Am I winning?

Are you looking for a time to visit Colorado? Here is a piece of information that will help you greatly in deciding on a date:

We plan to move all of our stuff from our apartment into our new house on Saturday, August 15. We're closing on the house July 31 and taking a couple weeks to move little bits over, to do any cleaning that will be more pleasant without furniture, and anything else that makes sense before we crowd the place with stuff.

So how should this affect your plans?

1. If you'd like to help us move, please come join us on the weekend of August 15!

2. If you won't be coming on the weekend of August 15 (who would with a pitch like that one?), you could come AFTER August 15 and enjoy our new and exciting guest room. Visitors for the last 3 years have been stuck on the couch, but no more. If our quick and dirty measurements work out, then we'll be able to stuff a queen sized bed in there.

3. If you're really excited, we will have two homes from July 31 through the middle of September (unless we can manage to offload the rest of our lease). You could have your very own unfurnished house or apartment if you time it right! We do have a high-quality air mattress, so you wouldn't even be on the floor. This also means that we can house a ton of people. Frankly, I wish there were enough people close by to set up a LAN party during this time.

So think about coming out to visit - the time is right for it!

If all goes well, we'll be buying a house at the end of July. This is the first house we will have owned and I expect that we'll be lacking some necessary items for owning a house (luckily, not furniture). I was hoping that you might help me come up with putting together a list in advance (so that there are fewer surprises later on). So, tell me, what do you need to own for a house that you didn't expect?

I have these items already:

• Some tools, including screwdrivers, hammer, wrench, ratchet set


• flashlights (though I will possibly need more powerful ones if I do much in the crawl space)

I expect to need these items, but do not yet have them:

• Indoor ladder (tall enough to change lightbulbs in a vaulted ceiling)


• Outdoor ladder (tall enough for a 2-story house)


• I'd like to get one of those electrical outlet testers


• More doors means more floor mats (front, back, garage probably)


• Lawn/walkway care items (snow shovel, outdoor broom, shovel, lawn mower, weed whacker) - thanks Ramona and Sarah

I really SHOULD have these items, but either don't or need to replace them:

• broom/dustpan


• mop/bucket


• extra clock (for the guest room)


• extra fan(s) (to use instead of air conditioning if possible)

I'll continue to add to this over time.

I put some pictures on the internet from the trip:

http://damonthebold.org/gallery/v/djcook/road_trip_2009/

If you were around at any point and took pictures, I'd love to get copies. I don't know about you, but I love to see the different perspectives that people had of big events.

If you can identify people in the pictures that I did not identify, please leave the name(s) in the picture's comments or email the info to me.

I got a couple nice scenery shots and a lot of bad indoor shots of people...

Sunday, June 7: Cleaned up The Chalet and prepared to leave. Tried to come up with interesting notes to leave in the guestbook ("We prefer 'Dial' soap"). Stopped for pasties on the way to Grand Rapids. Michiganders claim it as a Yooper food. Missed seeing the Chicago folks we were planning to see. Checked in to see if Z and R had learned to say "Yo Mama" and "So Fat" successfully. Realized that the Superman Festival in Metropolis was a different weekend.

Monday: Arrived in Jonesboro. Hung out with Grampa, Gramma, and assorted relatives.

Tuesday: Diana discovered the wealth of gardening books in my Grampa's book collection. Was asked various times about when we were planning to "start a family". Cake planned for the day was repurposed as a birthday cake.

Wednesday: Left Jonesboro for Oklahoma City. Got niece and nephew extra hyper. Kept sister and brother-in-law up way too late. Stole prescription drugs. Slept in a bunk bed.

Thursday: Left Oklahoma City for home. Arrived with a cough starting up.

I won't bore you with all the details of the trip, but I'll bore you with some of them.

Saturday, May 30: Hit the road with Diana and a rental car, crossed Kansas (who knew they still made such a big deal out of The Wizard of Oz there?), and arrived in Kansas City to spend some time with my aunt, uncle, and cousin. Purchased phone charger for the car at a gas station. Purchased connector ipod-to-car at Radio Shack.

Sunday: Was unable to get in touch with two of my cousins that were along our route. Got to hang out with my grandmother in St Louis, and had dinner with her and another aunt & uncle. Arrived in Champaign late at night and invaded Matt and Jaime's guest room.

Monday: Hung out in Champaign, including lunch at a park with a bunch of mothers and children. Also got to hang out with Andrew and Vernita, who chose the exact same wedding day as my cousin. Read the program for their wedding, including the scriptures they used about how you need to satisfy the sexual needs of your spouse.

Tuesday: Hung out in Champaign, including lunch at Papa Del's. Ended up watching Drag Me To Hell with Nick and Kyle (happy birthday, Kyle!). Realized it was a metaphor for dating and marriage. Played Shadows Over Camelot and won as the traitor.

Wednesday: Ate at the Original Pancake House in Champaign, drove to Michigan. Cousin Mike's wedding is a few days away, so we met up with him, most of his immediate family, and his bride-to-be. Watched Diana tour Aunt Debbe's garden. Drove up to The Farm.

Thursday: Hung out with Mike, Sarah, and Heather, toured The Farm and surrounding area, "helped" set up for the wedding. After the rest of the family arrived, we moved into The Chalet (pronounced cha-let). Played the bean game. Met my first cousin, once removed.

Friday: Hung out at The Chalet, "helped" set up for the wedding, ate way too much food at the rehearsal dinner, narrated a few games of Mafia. Sadly, the groom was killed off quite early.

Saturday: Wedding, reception, dancing in a barn, maid-of-honor angry about what happened to the groom's car, more Mafia. I died many times as a result of the previous day's mispronunciation of Michigan geography.

To Be Continued...